Was there ever a time in your life where you were oozing confidence, yet for some reason social anxiety is now getting the better of you? In my early 20’s I LOVED my life. I had great friends, work was fun, I was well connected and I knew Sydney like the back of my hand... work hard & play hard was top of the agenda.
Move ahead into my 30's and socially I felt SO awkward! I would have a sick feeling in my stomach as I walked into a social situation. I could hardly get a word out, and would never really know what to say. I'd find myself being so ridiculously over polite, quiet and boring... even I wouldn't want to talk to me sometimes. And I really didn't want to be that way, because I knew it wasn't the real me.
Once upon a time I would strut into a bar or a party, look around the room and strike up a conversation with someone that caught my eye, work my way into VIP lounges, meet amazing people & get a taste for how the ‘other half’ lived.
Yet in my mid 30's... I'd get home and would be filled with mixed emotions of relief, disappointment, confusion and to be honest, a deep level of loneliness.
My once free spirit had became weary, and looking back - I can see it all started when I began to question:
"Did I really belong in the VIP lounge?..."
It doesn’t matter if your most admired movie star stood at the door and beckoned you in... if you don’t believe that door is open for you - it will shut.
Self-doubt and judgement are signs that your #SolarPlexus energy is weakening. Your Solar Plexus is your third Chakra energy. It's colour is yellow and it sits above your belly-button and below your heart. It's connected to your diaphragm, which is the pump that moves energy through your body.
Your Solar Plexus energy relates to your personal identity, confidence and courage.
When you are confident you are breathing nice full breaths, standing tall, you speak up and it's easy to take action.
And when you are doubting yourself you're more than likely to be shallow breathing, your body will start contracting (e.g you'll make yourself smaller by doing things like hunching your shoulders, or putting your hands in your pockets).
It will become harder for you to speak up, and you'll find yourself missing out on opportunities, or doing the opposite of agreeing to things you really don't want to do.
Self-doubt, in the beginning, may not seem so obvious to those around you. However your beliefs are transparent... they have a vibe. The stronger the belief the easier people will pick up on it no matter if it's positive or negative.
Here are three top tips I've use to activate my Solar Plexus when I suffer from social anxiety:
1) Focus on your breath. As crazy as this sounds - it actually works. As you walk into a social situation, allow yourself to take three deep breaths and come back to your body. You don't have to close your eyes, or look like you are doing a meditation - just simply breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth three times. As you do this, feel your shoulders drop and relax... afterwards it will feel easier to smile.
2) Manage your expectations. Don't think by any means that being socially comfortable means you have to be extroverted and be dancing on tables! What it is truly about, is feeling comfortable within your own skin. So give yourself a small challenge, like making the effort to say hello to someone new. Or within the group of people you already know - bring up a topic you're a passionate about.
Small steps lead to big things, however you will need to make small steps outside of your comfort zone for this to happen.
3) Laugh! Did you know that laughter is one of the most effective ways to unblock stuck energy? Before you go to a social engagement, do something that you find really fun! Put yourself into a good mood before you even get there. Your vibe will be high and people will feel it... and it will give you something easy to talk about.
Do the inner work to mend your wings, you will begin to fly again... and it's more than likely that you’ll come back in a bigger and brighter way than before.
An avid lover of fresh coconuts & globe trotting, you will often find Melanie Midegs in Bali, Indonesia.
She teaches and empowers her clients to use emotional intelligence to make better life decisions. Melanie will also help business owners to create firm foundations for themselves to then market effectively to attract new clients.
Her creativity will blow your mind, as she will help to propel your vision into reality and stand out from the crowd in an over crowded market place of online Entrepreneurs.